Author Archives: Abonnemation

Nature Pee

Nature Pee

Ava, my 3 year old, has an unpleasant new habit that she calls the “Nature Pee.” You might think that Nature Peeing is when you pee in the woods. (Except there are no woods in Scottsdale.) But according to Ava’s definition, “N ...
Stupid and Hairy

Stupid and Hairy

This weekend, while I was driving Sophie, Ava, and their friend back from an outing, I participated in the following conversation: The Friend: (to Sophie) Charlie and Abe said you’re stupid and hairy. Sophie: What?! ...
Hershey Squirts

Hershey Squirts

I feel like my whole life revolves around other people’s poop. Sophie held her poop for four years. Ava won’t poop on the potty with any regularity. Sam eats his poop. (As an aside,   poop eating, while gross, actually makes my life a lit ...
Remember the Time Sam Ate Rat Poison?

Remember the Time Sam Ate Rat Poison?

I do. Because it happened yesterday. I had a morning of phone meetings; then I went to an in-person meeting; then I got in my car and had another phone meeting while I drove home. Then, when I got home, I saw Sam eating something in the backyard. I a ...
Sideways Junk

Sideways Junk

We recently adopted a 4-year-old golden retriever named Sam. The nutshell version of the story is that Sam showed up with his family jewels still intact. In the process of taking care of it, the vet discovered that Sam had, at some point, suffered a ...
The Zombie Monologue

The Zombie Monologue

My mother-in-law visited this weekend from St. Louis. I actually really like her, so settle down if you were gearing up for a MIL tale of savagery. No, in fact, this is a tale of child-wrought zaniness…the kind only a 3 year old can deliver. ...
Homework Sucks

Homework Sucks

Remember how much it sucked to do homework? Well, I’m a mom with a first grader who has homework almost every night and let me assure you, it still sucks. For me, helping with homework is just as bad as doing homework. I don’t care how ma ...