Make Your Own Red Room of Pain

The entire world is enamored with Christian Grey and his infamous Red Room of Pain. In case you’re living under a rock and need to be caught up to speed, you can grab your own copy of Fifty Shades of Grey right now at For those of you that swoon at the mere mention of a silver tie, I have good news. has recently expanded their catalog of sexual health products to include a touch of the wild side.

Since we’re not all billionaires with private jets and a mansion in which we can dedicate an entire room to our sexual fantasies, I present to you the “Red Box of Pain” (RBOP). With a few easy steps, you too can experience all of the sensual pleasures of BDSM (bondage-discipline-submission-masochism) in the privacy of your own home.


First, get yourself a nice, mid-sized box. In my opinion, this should be nondescript and maybe even totally misleading. If you have a black leather chest with “I’ve been a bad girl” stitched across the top in red, you’re asking for someone like your mom or your housekeeper to go snooping inside. You’re better off with something that looks like it holds boring mementos or maybe scrap-booking supplies.

After you’ve procured said box, it’s time for the fun stuff. I’m going to break it down into three levels of intensity for play. Where you fall is completely personal, and if you’re new to BDSM, please do not jump into some of these items without fully educating yourself on safe and sane use in your play.


For a taste of the exotic that errs on the side of sweet, stock your RBOP with Sportsheets Do Not Disturb kit, which includes four silk ankle and wrist restraints and a “Do  Not Disturb” door hanger. Then add a pleasure feather and a small toy, like the Sportsheets Sex in the Shower vibrator.


Ready for more? If you’re answer is, “yes, ma’am”, try this next set of deliciously naughty toys made to arouse and excite your inner submissive. Expand your collection with ben wa balls like the ones Anastasia wore to dinner, a rubber flogger, vibrating nipple clamps and anal beads.


If you’re prepared to play on a more serious level, this last group of items will heighten your pain and pleasure, taking you right up to the edge of your comfort zone, and beyond. The Sportsheets paddle is designed for safe play and punishment when you’ve been a very disobedient pet. Add an anal plug, anodized hand cuffs, and the final piece de resistance, a leather collar with adjustable nipple clamps.

Now, who’s a good little pet? You are, oh yes, you are.

“The Bombshell Mommy” is written by Abigail Blank, romance author and mother of three. Frozen Heart and its sequel, Melted Tears, are published under her pen name: Annabelle Blume. Got a question about how to juggle it all and still be a Bombshell? Email Abigail at, connect with her on Facebook, follow her on Twitter @Bombshell_Mommy and look for her on Pinterest.

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