I’m a child of divorce. Because of this, initially, I went into marriage thinking once you had children, they came first. It was a warped interpretation of how I thought a couple needed to approach marriage. Somehow, I had twisted all of the difficulty of being the child of divorced parents into this idea that I had to put my children before everyone, including myself and my husband, otherwise I’d be terribly selfish. I was completely wrong, of course, and my marriage bares the scars to prove it.
Bombshells, after 10 years of marriage, I have lived and learned…a whole lot. I’ve seen the error of my naive ways and hope to impart my wisdom to you. You and your husband, your relationship and love for each other, must be the number one priority. If you’re scoffing at the suggestion, it’s because you’re not thinking it through.
You serve as the backbone of your family unit. The trunk of your immediate family tree, so to speak. If the trunk of the tree is weakened, the entire thing can topple right over. By remaining invested in and connected to your spouse, you ensure a strong and stable home life. Though your kids protest when you kiss goodbye in the kitchen before work or dance in the living room to your wedding song, believe me when I say you are doing them far more good than harm. Even if it’s oogey to see your parents giving each other sexy eyes, harmony between mom and dad means harmony in the home. No one grows up and says, “Boy, I wish my parents would have been less in love.”
Your children derive their ideas of interpersonal relationships, especially within marriage, from your example. Want your daughter to grow up and know better than to date a guy who treats her poorly? Want your son to do right by the woman he marries? Be the example they draw upon. They’re watching you, especially when you think they aren’t, and they imbed those images in their subconscious, calling upon them later as user guides for their adult lives.
In a society that sensationalizes every celebrity break up, glorifies the single-and-wild-on-the-town young person and provides a myriad of mixed messages about sexual promiscuity, your relationship with your spouse can and will be a grounding force in their lives. Don’t let another moment go by wasted. Go to your man and let him know he’s the most important person in your life. If you already have a fantastic relationship and you’re sitting on cloud nine, go do it anyway. Grab him by the face, look him in the eye, and tell him through it all he’s always been the one for you. Remember, you can never say “I love you” too much.
“The Bombshell Mommy” is written by Abigail Blank, romance author and mother of three. Frozen Heart and its sequel, Melted Tears, are published under her pen name: Annabelle Blume. Got a question about how to juggle it all and still be a Bombshell? Email Abigail at firstname.lastname@example.org, connect with her on Facebook, follow her on Twitter @Bombshell_Mommy and look for her on Pinterest.