They teach our children left from right, fractions from percentages, similes from metaphors. They teach them how to speak in an “inside voice” and to raise their hands instead of shouting out the answers. And if you’ve got little ones, they might even be teaching them how to use the potty. So how do you say “thank you, thank you, thank you!!” to your children’s teachers?
Tagged: Jorie Mark
In an ideal world, Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner would be a warm, festive experience, where everyone remains sober, no one brings up old family feuds, and children sit with their napkins in their laps and chew with their mouths closed. I wish this kind of Normal Rockwell holiday upon everyone and everyone I know…but I am betting that if you’re like most of us, Aunt Jane will drink too much wine, your kids will last all of 10 minutes before someone has a meltdown or breaks heirloom crystal, and your little sister will accuse you of ruining her life. (Again.)
I don’t know about you, but when I was a kid back in the 1980s, a diagnosis of head lice meant suffocating your teddy bears and blankets in giant, air-tight trash bags, being doused with an awful-smelling shampoo that came in an amber glass bottle from the pharmacy, and having the lice eggs (nits) removed one by one with a tiny metal comb that snagged painfully. It was an experience that was, in short, lousy.
Decades later, lice are still an annoying fact of life for school-aged children across the globe—but fortunately, lice removal techniques have come a long way. In fact, there are many completely natural, non-toxic solutions available, so you can destroy those pesky bugs without harming a hair on your little one’s head.
I don’t know about you, but I went from living in mordant fear of an unplanned pregnancy to raging, relentless baby fever, pretty much over night—only to discover it takes a whole lot more than just wanting a baby (and not using birth control) to actually end up with that proverbial bun in the oven.
If you’re in the same boat, hang in there. And use this time while you’re playing the waiting game to get yourself in optimal, baby-growing condition. Here’s the 411 on how to prepare for pregnancy…and hopefully see those two pink lines sooner rather than later!
Some kids never get growing pains. Others seem to suffer from them on an almost weekly basis. There’s no scientific evidence that bone growth causes discomfort—but my 7-year-old, who went from pint-sized, dimple-kneed and almost plump to a long-and-lean string bean practically overnight, would beg to differ. She begged to differ at 2 a.m. several weeks ago, in fact, when she woke up in tears because her shins hurt.
One Halloween nearly a decade ago, when my oldest was a toddler and I still idealistically believed I’d be able to shield my children forever from the evils of trans fats, high-fructose corn syrup and Red Dye Number 5, I bought dried fruit instead of candy to give out to trick-or-treaters.
This move didn’t go over well. A sarcastic fifth grader said, “I’m sure the American Dental Association appreciates your idea of what candy is,” and declined my organic raisins. Moms openly gave me weird looks. I guess you can say I got lucky that my house didn’t end up TP’ed!
Maternity leave usually comes to an end around the time your baby’s “fun” phase is beginning: the cooing, the smiling, the (almost) sleeping through the night. And if you’ve been nursing, 12 weeks is also around the time when you feel like an old pro (rather than a flailing newbie). You’ve seen how your baby has grown, thrived and turned into a little butterball on your milk. Sore nipples and engorgement are a thing of the past.
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