Today, as I was driving down the street listening to my littlest cackling at the movie she was watching from the back seat (don’t judge me, my moments of peace are few and far between), my mind wandered to the day I met my husband. My first thought was, “I don’t ever want to forget how amazing that day felt.”
Spending time together isn’t always about making dinner reservations and shelling out big bucks to stay at a five-star hotel. Date night doesn’t have to happen outside of your home. Carve out a little time for yourselves and enjoy the comforts of home by planning your next getaway without actually going anywhere.
I’ve had three kids. We’ve discussed this, correct? This means three distinctly different times I went through the un-glamourous phase of “post-baby sex.” Let’s face it, the overall feeling about post-baby sex is that it’s anything but sexy.
I’m a child of divorce. Because of this, initially, I went into marriage thinking once you had children, they came first. It was a warped interpretation of how I thought a couple needed to approach marriage. Somehow, I had twisted all of the difficulty of being the child of divorced parents into this idea that I had to put my children before everyone, including myself and my husband, otherwise I’d be terribly selfish. I was completely wrong, of course, and my marriage bares the scars to prove it.
Our lives are full of overwhelming time constraints and the juggling of schedules. Some nights it’s a miracle that we even get dinner on the table in a timely manner after a full day of work, school, activities and so on. So where do you fit in time for your love life? If your answer is a maniacal laugh that makes your abs hurt like you’ve done a hundred crunches, we need to talk.
Admit it, you’re kinky. In fact, I would dare to wager, most couples that have been together for any decent amount of time have delved into the kinkier side of things on more than one occasion. Anyone who tells you that being married means you’re doomed to a life of vanilla-missionary-only-unenthusiastic-scheduled-night-of-the-week-sex has been doing it wrong, or not doing it at all (if that is the case, please seek marriage counseling; things can be so much better).
As with all business in the boudoir, communication and clear boundaries are crucial to a fulfilling intimate experience. Sometimes, it’s easier to discuss your desires outside of the bedroom. If you haven’t expressed your hidden desires yet, try opening a nice bottle of wine and playing a game of dirty word Scrabble to get the conversation flowing. A couple of carefully arranged tiles can do wonders for getting your message across.
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