The Zombie Monologue

The Zombie Monologue

My mother-in-law visited this weekend from St. Louis. I actually really like her, so settle down if you were gearing up for a MIL tale of savagery. No, in fact, this is a tale of child-wrought zaniness…the kind only a 3 year old can deliver. ...
I hate my birthday.

I hate my birthday.

The ironic thing about being a mom with small kids is that while your life seems to revolve around OTHER people’s birthdays–the whole bounce house, do-you-want-Sponge-Bob-or-Captain-America, goody bags up the wazoo deal–your own bir ...
My “me” time: being zapped with painful laser beams

My “me” time: being zapped with painful laser beams

How pathetic is this? Yesterday, the most relaxing moment of my day was when I was lying under harsh fluorescent lights while a masked technician zapped painful beams of electricity into the hair follicles on the most delicate parts of my body with a ...
The broken toe.

The broken toe.

Take one calm Super-mom with years of yoga and spiritual training. Add in her teenage daughter, having an especially teenagerish moment, and what do you get? A bloody rampage more painful than four childbirth experiences combined. (And it STILL HURTS ...
I am so *over* birthday parties!

I am so *over* birthday parties!

When I first became a mom, I loved birthday parties because that meant a chance to socialize with other moms, see my kid have fun and shop for cute party gifts for the birthday boy or girl. I threw myself into preparations for my oldest’s birth ...
My mother-in-law”¦Need I say more?

My mother-in-law”¦Need I say more?

She comes from money (as she likes to remind me pretty much every time I see her), and everyone in her family, including my husband, went to a certain Ivy League school that rhymes with the word “Marvard.” Now I have a high school freshm ...
Parent-teacher conference meltdown.

Parent-teacher conference meltdown.

So everyone loves my daughter’s pre-school teacher, but there’s just something about her that rubs me the wrong way””and maybe vice versa. I recently went back to work after being a stay-at-home-mom, and it seems like she’s go ...