Today, as I was driving down the street listening to my littlest cackling at the movie she was watching from the back seat (don’t judge me, my moments of peace are few and far between), my mind wandered to the day I met my husband. My first thought was, “I don’t ever want to forget how amazing that day felt.”
I think, as the years march on and we are trampled by the drudgery of jobs, packing lunches, and bedtime negotiations, we forget what it was like in the beginning. It all seems too far away, and now, you’re hard pressed to look at your spouse without pinning him as Laundry-Helper or Trash-Collector, that is, if you’re not calling him swear words in your head. There is no magic formula for making your marriage rock, but there are some things you can do to ensure a positive perspective and keep the love alive.
It’s the Little Things That Count
Sometimes it feels like you and your man are a million miles apart. You haven’t talked about anything but the cable bill and carpool in weeks. That’s when one of you needs to make the first move. I suggest that person be you. Don’t sneer at me, this is for your own good. Pick up a little gift for him that says, “I’m thinking of you.” Whether it’s packing his favorite protein bar in his lunch or stocking the shower with all his favorite shaving essentials, it’s those little gestures that keep us endeared to each other.
Make Time for Us
I know, I know, you’re busy and you’re tired and there are so many ways you need to spend that money. But you know what costs even more? A divorce. So make the time to reconnect whether it’s a nice dinner out or a quiet cup of coffee together on the front porch at 6am on Saturday. Do it.
Put on Your “Remember Glasses”
Just like I did above, try to see your man through that lens from long ago. You married him for a reason. See if you remember it. Then again, it may make you hate him even if you see a distinct change from who he was, but that can be a catalyst for open, honest, and productive discussions. Because sometimes you have to clean the fish tank, and let all the gross stuff loose, so you can have a healthy, clear tank again.